Muses: Lovers

Early today, I got to thinking about my multitude of lovers.
I know what you're thinking: Seriously, chicka, I didn't need to know that. I don't want to hear about your intimate life. But you're thinking of the wrong lover.
I once wrote that we have different kinds of lovers in our life. There are the lustful lovers, the ones who sleep together and don't actually love each other in any way. Then there's the lovers who are still lustful, but also have a lot of love for each other.
Then there's the kind I was thinking about: the kind who just have a lot of love. Those people are who make the world go 'round, don't you think? They are the ones who form, essentially, your safety net. They catch you once you fall, and they tell you some of the things you want to hear but all of the things you need to hear.

In this sense, I have lots of lovers.
I've got my family, which is huge and amazing... it consists of my mom, dad, five brothers, three sister-in-laws, one niece, and one nephew. They all support me extensively, and no matter how nuts they drive me I wouldn't trade them for the world.
I've got my best friend, who puts up constantly with all my nonsense and who has an endless fountain of happiness and support whenever I need it. I'm so glad we discovered each other as friends, because there are times when she is the sole reason I can smile and carry on. And I've got my other friends, the relatively new, exciting kind, where every moment you're discovering something new about each other.
And of course, I've got my Father and His Son, who love me so unconditionally that I can't even begin to explain its depth.

And this? This brings me comfort. 'Cause I, like everyone at some point in their lives, am terribly insecure. There are times when I sit down and feel worthless. At those points, I seek out my lover and I give them a big hug. Because there's nothing more comforting than a hug, right? Hugs remind me that these people, they love me for who I am.
But sometimes these people aren't around for a hug. So I sit there wallowing in my lack of self-worth, until I remember that I've forgotten two very big People. And so I pray. It's usually a short one, something along the lines of Hey God, it's me again. I feel like dirt today, and I've probably done everything wrong in your book. Is it actually possible for you to still love me?
And then I experience something that I can honestly only describe as a Heavenly Hug. It's like that sensation of drinking hot chocolate on a freezing Canadian winter day, where this warmth floods your entire body and makes you smile.

So I got to thinking about my lovers today. Have you ever sat down and thought of them? If you did, I think you'd be surprised. And comforted.


~Godspede