Streams in the Wasteland

Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not
percieve it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
- Isaiah 43:18-19

... It's almost like Jesus is speaking to me when i read this.

It's almost like... i'm standing there, face to face with him and he's holding my face in his hands, looking into my eyes with his full of excitement; an expression of elated confusion as like a child who is thrilled about something, and cannot figure out why you don't understand.

"See" he says, " I am doing a new thing!" full of excitement, as like a travelor who has just figured out a new way on the map. He points out with his arm, his whole body tense with emotion.

" Now it springs up; do you not percieve it?" do i not percieve indeed. As though, how could you possibly not percieve it? and yet i cannot see.

" I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." as like an explorer in the 1500's or what have you, discovering the new lands.
Making a way in the wilderness, how do i not percieve it?
streams in the wasteland do i not see it?

Perhaps because i'm " dwelling on the past."
maybe i've not " forgotten the former things" ... so i cannot see the " new thing"

Much like Lot's wife. She was dwelling on the past, she looked back and was not able to see the new thing.
She turned into a pillar of salt.

Let me not turn into a pillar of salt.
Let me not dwell on things long gone rather let me percieve the new thing.

My LORD, the one i follow is making the way for me. As i follow him on this new wilderness, he takes pride in making a new way. A way in the wilderness, his being is lit up and elated as he leads the way, knowing that should i choose to trust in him, he will show me the way.

This is what he does, and he finds joy in the impossible. Joy in changin the way i think. As he leads me to streams in the wasteland, holding my right hand he helps me to percieve it.
This new thing
This beautiful new thing that he knows i can only fully apreciate, when i let go of the past.

On our journey he teaches me. patiently, he finds joy in his work. Helping me realize that i can only do this with him by my side. That i cannot do this by myself brings glory to his name.

Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, i am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not
percieve it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
- Isaiah 43:18-19

Love is like oxygen; love is a many splendoured thing; love.. lifts us up where we belong; all you need is love! (Christian, Moulin Rouge!)

Firstly, I'd like to apologize for missing this Sunday's sermon. I was camping, yet again, and forgot to pre-write one. Sorry...

Now, I am working on my book, and sometimes that involves reading stuff that you already wrote. I happened to stumble across a particularly pretty one, and it rang with the same quality of the stuff I write here, so I thought I'd put it down. I'll describe the scene then write down the quote.
So, the character's name is Lily. She is one of my favourite to write about, because she is rambunctious and energetic and always getting herself into sticky situations because of her clumsiness. But around the middle of the book, her whole family dies in a tragic fire. The only reason she wasn't killed was because she was visiting her friend, a slave at a nearby castle. While she is there, she finds out that he was whipped to death for impertinence to his master, and she realizes that she had fallen in love with him too late. Once she sees the ruined pile that is her home, she falls into a severe emotional breakdown and runs away. One of her closest friends, Nathan, comes looking for her and is really the only thing that keeps her from drying up and blowing away in the wind. This is all stretched out throughout the book, as I bounce between characters, and the following quote is when she is starting to get a grip again.

"My dad died," Nathan said. "Mom still considers herself to be married. She told me that as long as she still loves him and not someone else, she is still married. I don't know if she's fallen in love or anything. And apparently, I'm not going to find out."
Lily laughed lightly and Nathan looked pleased. He put his arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. She smiled. "Love is sometimes hard to define," she commented. He looked at her curiously. "Well, I mean, sometimes you say you love a person and you think you love them, so you stay with them all the time until one day, you look out the window and 'fall in love' again. With someone else. Or maybe you'd never even wanted to be in love, and if you were asked if you were, you'd say no. Then, one day, that person is taken away. All of a sudden you realize quite how much and how deep you had fallen." She bit her lip, pausing for a moment and glancing at Nathan quickly. "Then there's the kind of love that you always take for granted. The kind that isn't a passion or a binding, life-long thing. It's just a person who cares and takes care of you. That kind is all around, and we never realize that. And we never even thank them. But really, without those kinds of lovers, our lives would fall apart." She looked up at him, tears in her perfectly azure eyes. "That's why I thank you."

(this is the scene that I took the title from, the quote is right at the beginning)
~Godspede

My musings.

The Prayer of Serenity
Lord,
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as he did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
as supremely happy with Him
forever in the next,
Amen.

Dear God,
Please let me know when to take charge and when to let you take over, and let me feel happy about it;
Let me not worry about every little problem, 'cause we can't see the future the way you can... let us see, find and feel all the happiness;
Help us to understand that sometimes bad things happen so that good can spring from them;
Help us to live like Jesus, to not try to make more of the world than it is, and trust that everything is made better in Him if we let Him make it so;
Help us realize that this is the way we can make ourselves happiest in this world, and that we will be truly, completely happy when we are finally with You, Him and Your Spirit in eternity,
Amen.


The best things in life come when we aren't looking... they seem to sneak up behind us and jump out. We can search as long as we like and we won't find it until God wants us to. The best way to find peace in ourselves and the world is simply to let him take control. Of course, we can never do that; our sinful human nature won't allow that, but we can try, and He will help us. That seems to be the only way to rest at ease. Just release our earthly bounds and burdens, freeing our hands so we can grab onto His shirttails.

~Godspede

Muses: Winds

So, I posted the ... post... called Depths of Despair. If you haven't read it, stop right now and go to it. I gave the link with the title, so click it. Go. Now.

Okay, now that everyone is all caught up... I want to further catch you up. I've been at camp for a week, as I'd mentioned, and something beautiful happened there.

It's been unbearably windy here, and for the most part it was frustrating. We couldn't do most of those camp things like tubing, knee-boarding, skiing, boating, for the wind made the waves dangerous. However, it made it wonderful for sunbathing, as the wind cooled your skin before you became uncomfortable. My best friend and I were on the dock doing just that, having a beautifully in-depth conversation. Someone must have called us or something, because the next thing I really remember clearly is getting up and walking off. She ran ahead of me because that is the way she is, and I paused for some reason. All of a sudden, the wind just picked up. Ever so gently it tousled my hair, sending it curling around my neck and goosebumps down my spine. I took a deep breath in and looked up to the sky, which looked more like the heavens, and I felt this amazing sort of happiness which wrapped around my heart and made me want to just sing; a sort of 'inexplicable joy'.
My prayers... Thank you God, thank you for making me happy.

He truly works miracles. I feel joy that makes me cry. I am finally at peace with myself.
A note, though: I'm still fighting it. I just have to fight it less.

~Godspede

Sermon 6

I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. BELIEVE! (as if it works that way...)

Passage: Hebrews 11:1 KJV
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
faith (fāth): confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.

This feels a little weird, as I am writing it on a Monday for next Sunday. However, I am going to be at camp for the whole week, so I have to do it now and set it to post later.

This particular Bible passage was thought of because I have it written on a picture frame in my bedroom. I quote it often, using it as an argument against my older brother who seems to believe that stuff can only be true if it has incontrovertible facts. Another quote which often comes to mind after it is "Some things have to be believed to be seen." said by Ralph Hodgson.

All too often I have had to argue for ages with people about my faith. When I am relating the story to people afterwards, I usually roll my eyes and say "Why can't people just accept stuff the way they are?!" Sadly, the world does not work that way as much as we may close our eyes and hope for it. There is an amazing, mind-blowing amount of proof for the Bible but people refuse to see it. Like I mentioned. Belief is needed. An example of this was a science article I read recently. I can't remember where it was so I can't give any references, but it mentioned that scientists have recently discovered that a large, world-wide flood probably happened, and they are searching for proof and sources of this flood. My first reaction was NO FLIPPIN' DUH! (my friend's swear, it's good to use when you are angry). I can't even mention how long we have been pointing out the evidence and saying that Noah's flood happened, and now they are just 'discovering it'. Bah.

Now, I must caution that science is not my favourite subject. I spent countless periods arguing with my grade nine science teacher about the creation of the universe, yadda yadda, to no avail. He didn't want to think that what I was saying was true, so therefore it couldn't be true. It would be impossible.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if the whole world did that. I don't want to believe that I am going to die in a year, so I refuse treatment. I don't believe that poking my eye will hurt, so I will do it, since I am just that special.
What would people think?
Wow, that person is pretty stupid... that makes no sense whatsoever... you guys are all crazy.

My sentiments exactly.


Now, this has all the measurements of a rant (which, rightfully, it is), so I'm going to say my full thought:
If you want to believe something, okay. If you don't, then whatever. However, don't say you will listen and then say to yourself that it is impossible, because then it will always seem impossible. Just try to believe. Have a little faith.

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are...

(One of my favourite songs by Casting Crowns called Who Am I?)

~Godspede

Sermon 5

For Thou art with me

Passage: Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear. ~Ambrose Hollingworth Redmoon

Okay, so my blog hasn't experienced this yet, but everyone who knows me well knows that I am able to convey my feelings best at times through analogies and stories. So here goes.

My father is a busy, hard-working man. He is a contractor, and instead of hiring a team of workers, people hire him, a one-man team. He has permanent tans from being in the sun so much, and he is so strong that he can lift things easily that I can't even budge. He obviously didn't need to work out constantly, since his job was like going to the gym. However, his dietary habits were questionable. Since he never gained weight, he never thought anything of having fast food and junk food often. It never seemed to affect him.
The key word here, folks, is seemed.
God created an intricate system of the body. If any little thing doesn't work just so, nothing really works and it shuts down. Well, my dad was not doing good things to his heart. One night, my mom made him go to the hospital with her when she woke up and heard him wheezing in his sleep. We live in Canada, so although we have free health care, we also have very long waits in the emergency room. The most urgent cases go in first, but with an ordinary problem like a bad stomachache, you can expect a couple hours of waiting. My mom talked to the nurse at the desk an told her the problems and all the necessary information. My dad went in immediately. As it turns out, his heart was failing and he needed to have an open heart surgery to fix it or else he would die. My mom booked a flight to the city they would have to fly to, and then came home in the morning.
Of course, I was not informed of this as I was too young and would have freaked. I got ready for school in the morning. My mom was home and I was told that my dad had gone to camp at the crack of dawn, which wasn't unusual for him. My older brothers all knew (all four of them), but my younger brother and I were left in the dark. Later, my mom told me that dad was sick and needed to visit a specialist in that city. I wasn't told anymore than that, and as I said to my friend later that night, this was what scared me most of all. My mom tells me everything. It wasn't until I was at church one Sunday, singing at the front of the church in the choir, that I found out. My pastor gave an extra prayer for my mom and dad, that they be safe on their journey and that my dad fare well as he underwent such a potentially dangerous surgery... my breath caught in my throat, and my oldest brother, who was standing next to me, grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight, whispering, "It's okay, I'll tell you everything later."
My dad needed that surgery. His heart was incredibly weak, operating at something like 20% what it is supposed to. The day before he was scheduled to actually have to surgery, he went in for the preliminary check-up. And the doctor asked him why he was there.
My dad was confused. He repeated how his heart wasn't working, and the doctor shook his head, saying that his heart was slightly weak, 70%, but it was rising steadily. My dad was shocked beyond words, and my mom turned to the doctor, who now had out dad's medical records and was reading through them carefully. She asked how this could be possible, and what had happened to make his heart heal so fast. The doctor sighed, and asked mom one question.
"Do you believe in miracles?"
That was the only way any doctor to this day can explain what happened.

I don't think I need to explain the application of my story. But my mom had requested prayers from several churches, and my dad is still alive and still a contractor. Sometimes, all that is required is to ignore your fears and walk head-first into trouble, praying and depending on God to protect you.

"Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me."
Psalm 23:4

This story is completely, 100% true. I promise.

~Godspede