CHRISTMAS

Passage: Luke 2: 1-20
In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

The Shepherds and the Angels

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Merry Christmas ... and Happy Birthday, Jesus!

God bless each and every one of you today~ May the peace of God find you

~Godspede

Ahem

So, the last two posts are what happens when I let myself post whilst I am half asleep: some humorous wording, an anecdote that has nothing to do with anything and, uh. . . yeah, Dr. Seuss for all! Now, let me actually make a real statement about How the Grinch Stole Christmas, for those of us so unfortunate as to not have seen it.
The movie is basically about a grumpy green... thing that hated Christmas about all the singing and cheeriness, so he decided to stop it. He looked at everything that Christmas seemed to represent and came up with the perfect way of stealing Christmas from the Whos of Whoville: steal all of the presents and all of the decorations. After all, I imagine he must have been thinking, they're all celebrating getting their presents so if he were to take away their decorations and those presents they're celebrating, there'd be no Merry Christmas to All!
However, this doesn't deter the Whos. When they woke up Christmas morning, they must have been disappointed to find their house so barren of Christmas-y-ness but they still gathered in town square, joining hands around the city tree and singing a Christmas song. This leads to the Grinch's revelation, which I quoted last Sunday: "Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store./Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!" (in the movie, the narrator continues, "And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say/that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day.")

We should know that Christmas is about more than gifts and decorations and good food. We should, and we really do, but we all too often forget. After, Jesus was born on Christmas day. So, I think we should take a page out of my little nephew's book, who started his letter to Santa Clause as follows:

"Dear Santa,
Merry Christmas! Happy Birthday Jesus! Happy Birthday me!"

Indeed.

~Godspede

Advent 4

Passage: lyrics to the Christmas song You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch
(yes, you read that correctly. Go ahead and giggle... I'm looking at you, Sola Fide)
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus;
You're as charming as an eel,
Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders;
You've got garlic in your soul,
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks;
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you
are as follows, and I quote:
"Stink."
"Stank.
"Stunk!"

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splotch
With mouldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an appalling dump heap
overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of
deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled-up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch,
With a nauseas super naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse,
Mr. Grinch.

You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!

Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. -How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Dr. Seuss

Heh. Bet'ya never expected Dr. Seuss to show up here. Well, BOO! Be surprised. I am an unexpected blogger. Hah.

I love the words to this song and I sing them year round. Yup, you're never too old for Seuss, and I'm happy about that. My favourite line is "Your heart is full of gunk!" because it is so plain after all the elaborate descriptions that were given already. My friend's favourite line is the "Stink. Stank. Stunk!" which can only be described by going "see, 'cause that's [insert her name here]".

How the Grinch Stole Christmas is my sermon today. So, if you've never seen it... well, you're deprived. So go find a copy of it and watch!! And reflect on the messages, please, and think of the application.

Enjoy!

~Godspede

Advent 3

Passage: Lyrics to the hymn The Angel Gabriel
(As they appear in my hymnal
The angel Gabriel from Heaven came,/With wings as drifted snow, with eyes as flame:/"All hail to thee, O lowly maiden Mary,/Most highly favoured lady."/Gloria!
"For know a blessed mother thou shalt be,/All generations laud and honour thee;/Thy son shall be Emmanuel, by seers foretold,/Most highly favoured lady."/Gloria!
Then gentle Mart meekly bowed her head;/"To me be as it pleaseth God," she said./"My soul shall laud and magnify God's holy name."/Most highly favoured lady,/Gloria!
Of her, Emmanuel, the Christ, was born./In Bethlehem all on a Christmas morn,/And Christian folk throughout the world will ever say:/"Most highly favoured lady."/Gloria!

Words: Basque, circa 18th century; paraphrased Sabine Baring-Gould, 1834-1924

My hymnal also says the following below the song: "Mary was uniquely favoured among women--chosen by God to give birth to His Son! She responded with firm faith in God's word of promise carried to her by the angel Gabriel."

I can't look at this song without remembering my best friend's slip-up on the lyrics. We were practising it in choir and she sang, "Most highly fLavoured lady..." She realized and looked at me with a grin as she sang the word Lady, which breaks in the middle for a new note: "La-dy". Deciding to go along with that, she finished the verse, holding the first vowel with us as we contorted our voices around the notes: "Glo-o-o-o-o. . . . ri-os"
That is all.

***
***

The meaning of the candles.
I have always wondered about their specific meaning, namely the fact that there is this one random pink one which, I discovered today, is lit on the third Sunday. Oops... I had to make a little change in the picture I had saved on file. This is why the pink candle is on the end and is lit before the next logical one.
I decided to do research.
I also like dramatically hitting the enter button.
Ta-da.
Okay, so anyway I already knew that each of the candles has a name, because the names are written on a sheet of paper in the back room of my church for the ushers to read and use. The names vary between churches and denominations, representing different aspects of the church Christmas. The two things that are consistent in names are 1) the Christ Candle, the white candle in the middle of the advent wreath which, as its name indicates, represents Christ Himself and is lit on Christmas morning and the subsequent Sundays in the Christmas season, and 2) the pink/"rose" Joy candle which symbolizes the shift from sombre preparation to eager anticipation. Thus, the pink candle is lit on the third Sunday of Advent because it marks the turning point.
I hope that shed some light; it sure did for me :)

~Godspede

Advent 2

Passage: lyrics to hymn The King Shall Come
(As they appear in my hymnal)
The King shall come when morning dawns/And light triumphant breaks,/When beauty gilds the eastern hills/And life to joy awakes.
Not as of old a little child,/To bear and fight and die,/But crowned with glory like the sun/That lights the morning sky.
Oh, brighter than the rising morn/When Christ, victorious, rose/And left the lonesome place of death/Despite the rage of foes.
Oh, brighter than that glorious morn/Shall dawn upon our race/The day when Christ in splendour comes/And we shall see His face.
The Kind shall come when morning dawns/And light and beauty brings./Hail, Christ the Lord! Your people pray:/Come quickly, King of kings!

Words: John Bronlie, 1859-1925, alt.

self-giv·ing (sělf'gĭv'ĭng): adj. Characterized by self-sacrificing behavior; unselfish.

***

The Skit Guys are a comedy duo that I have discovered and love to watch. This particular video warmed my heart, so please watch it before reading any further.


Below the video on Youtube was this comment by "skitguyt" (Thomas, one of the members of the skit guys and the one in this video):
"Those are my real kids & wife. It is also a true story. The greatest morning of my life! I love my family! "

I think the video itself is enough of a story, but I still feel obliged to make more of one. As Sola Fide can testify, that is the way I am.
I have said before on this blog how the simplest things can mean so insanely much, and lately I have been blessed by quite a few of them. Here's two.

At my church, we have this thing called "Secret Prayer Pals". It's really neat, involving someone praying for someone else without the other's knowledge. Sometimes that person will give their prayer pal a card on their birthday, Christmas, and Easter.
To explain my situation: I'm so much better than how I was a couple of months ago, but I still have periods where I feel tired and sad and just generally 'not good'. For most of those times, I feel like I really need a hug or a wink or something from someone I care about-- but not if I ask for it. I need one just offered up for no reason in particular.
I was having one of those days today, and after Church my mom came up to me and handed me a card that was in her mail slot. It had the handwriting I recognize as my secret prayer pal's on it ---they spelt my name wrong. For those who know me: they left out the H. Just to tease me. They spelt it right on the inside...--- and I opened it curiously. There was no occasion to be celebrated, it's the Second Sunday of Advent after all not the first or last, yet they were sending me a card.
I pulled it out. It's pink and green with a cute little pattern on it. In a small script in the middle of the front, it says "You are fabulous . . ." I looked at my best friend curiously then opened it up. The inside has white polka dots on a pink fill as the background, and on top of a white slip it reads: "If you ever forget that, please read this again." They include a Tim's card for ten dollars.
Just cause.
They have no idea how much that meant to me at that moment, and they couldn't have seen the tears that sprung to my eyes as I blinked them back before even my mom could see them.
The second special occasion occurred on another of my bad days, though this one was worse. I had been home alone all day and just felt miserable, there was no one I could talk to, and I opened up my laptop and pulled up MSN. No one was online and I sighed. I saw that I had received instant messages while I was offline and I clicked the link almost reluctantly (I hate having to pick through six different "Goodnights!" that I missed). Up sprang a conversation with my friend way over in Calgary. She addressed me with my pet name and gave me this message: "i gotta bounce but jes wanted to send a lil note of love and a big HUGE hug yer way :) blessings my friend. i miss you " Below that, she had sent, "God bless you. much love."
I hadn't gone online at all the night before (too tired), so she had just sent this message randomly as she is apt to do. How ... touching that I saw it at that moment.

I like the notion that Thomas applies in his video. If a little touch like that feels so good to us, why don't we give God some? I'm sure he would appreciate it.
Here's the link to the video if, for some reason, you can't watch in on the site:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5Pju_bjlWo

~Godspede

Advent 1

Passage: lyrics to hymn The Advent of Our God

The advent of our God/Our prayers must now employ,/And we must meet Him on His road/With hymns of holy joy.
The everlasting Son/Incarnate deigns to be;/Himself a servant's form puts on/To set His people free.
Daughter of Zion, rise/To meet thy lowly King,/Nor let thy faithless heart despise/The peace He comes to bring.
As Judge, on clouds of light,/He soon will come again,/And all His scattered saints unite/With Him in Heaven to reign.
Before the dawning day/Let sin's dark deeds be gone;/The old man all be put away/The new man all put on.
All glory to the Son/Who comes to set us free,/With Father, Spirit, ever One,/Through all eternity.

Words: Charles Coffin, 1736

ad·vent (ād'věnt'): The coming or arrival, especially of something extremely important.

Today is the first Sunday of advent, marking the beginning of the "Christmas" season to the rest of the outside world... and the beginning of the church's wait for Christ's coming.

The advent wreaths come out... each candle being lit to represent a Sunday of Advent and the centre candle lit on Christmas day, white for Lord Jesus' purity.

The Christmas tree is set up... decked out in gold and white and the Chrismons: special decorations that are symbolic to the church, from the Alpha and Omega to the Holy Triune: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

The hymnals are marked for the seasonal songs... Advent and occasionally Christmas.

Everyone eagerly awaits the Christmas Eve and Christmas day services, two of the most beautiful ones in the whole year. Christmas Eve is often a candlelight service, where the only lighting in the building is from the flickering flames.

Advent is far too often overlooked by people, and I have even made the slip-up of referring to it as "Christmas season". Advent is filled with haunting melodies and beautiful words, sung and read in anticipation for the birthday of the King.
Finally it feels like the right season... one where the love of God fills most everyone's hearts, and people walk around with big grins on their faces.

~Godspede

Muses: You think YOU hurt? Try going through MY life...

A quick little side note. Call it a musing, if you will.
The title derives from people's habit of always wanting to be better than other people in everything, even in bad things like pain. Why is suffering more something to gloat about? I don't understand... and I'm guilty of this, too.
Anyway.

I am an amateur musician, and tonight I played at a performance. My brother counted the number of songs I performed in, and it came to a total of thirty... thirty songs about 5-7 minutes long in three different ensembles for two hours.
When people ask what my instrument is I answer piano, since I've played it the longest and feel the most at home playing it. However, at this performance I was playing flute, which is held very straight at your mouth, perfectly still, with both arms hovering. The one comment I have to make: I'm sore! My arms hurt from holding the instrument up, my hands hurt from the strain of hitting the keys, and my brain hurts from being concentrated for so long.And tomorrow I get to go back and do it again! Thank goodness there's an after party (alcohol-free and drug-free, as our conductor pitched it to us)... I think I'll need to unwind.
I could complain about this for ages, go on and on about how tired I am, how much time was spent in the prep, etcetera; as a matter of fact I was, moments before pulling up the "NEW POST" screen. But then, all of a sudden, things were shown to me in a different light.

I've always admired saints and martyrs. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to give up one's possessions, status, home, family, life, all for your belief. I'd like to say that I would do the same in that circumstance, but I really don't know. It's a scary thought, and maybe if I was confronted with the situation of confess-in-God or DIE, I'd wimp out and choose the easy option.
Now don't get your leotards in a knot, I'm not comparing my pain to what they go through. In fact, I'm doing quite the opposite. I complain about what I'm feeling, even though I know full well that I could be much worse off. I have been worse off before. It's frustrating how every time a human being goes through an ordeal that's trying in the least, we decide that no one in the history of mankind has felt worse. It drives me nuts. It's one of my pet peeves, intensified because I do it. I'm still groaning about how this actually really hurts to type, even as I'm saying I shouldn't be and that I should be thankful I can still type. I should be thankful I still have arms. I should be thankful I haven't fallen asleep on the keyboard yet, even though I feel like I could at any moment. But... I'm not. I try to be, but I don't think I am.
Humans are so annoying, don't you think?


On the topic of saints, I thought I'd share the lyrics to a beautiful song we sing at my church. It is one of my favourites, mostly due to the second verse which gives me goosebumplies. (It is set up as verse one, chorus, verse two, chorus)...

Shine Like the Sun
There's a light that lights the darkness,
and the world cannot contain it,
and the the world cannot explain it.
It is the light of God's creation...
There's a love that flows within us,
and the world cannot create it,
and the world cannot negate it.
It is the love of God's salvation;
and it shines like the sun.

Glory be to our Creator!
Glory to the Holy One!
Glory be to Christ, our Saviour:
the Lord of life, the King of Love.
See him shine like the sun.

There are saints who light the darkness,
and the world cannot contain them
for the love of God sustains them
and they will never be forgotten...
We are blessed to have them with us
and we praise the God who made them.
There is no way to repay them,
and so we simply do applaud them
as they shine like the sun.

Glory be to our Creator!
Glory to the Holy One!
Glory be to Christ, our Saviour:
the Lord of life, the King of Love.
See him shine like the sun.

~Godspede

Sermon 9

Yesterday, Today and Forever

Passage: Matthew 25:31-45
[Jesus said,] "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
In the faces of men and women I see God. -Walt Whitman

Today is All Saint's Day. As a result, I will post two separate sermons which aren't interrelated though they will be posted under the same title. The first comes off my Bible passage inspiration, and the second is in honour of today.

Analogy time.
I mentioned before I have a nephew. He is my brother's son, and this brother is married. He was married before the child happened, the child was planned, he was/is an adult (though sometimes I wonder), yadda yadda ya... The important topic to this is that my brother is married, because right now I'm going to take you back to August 18th, many years ago: my brother's wedding.
My brother and his wife met in high school in the school choir. As my mother eloquently put it, they would make "googly eyes" at each other until the girl was allowed to date with her parent's knowledge. Their wedding, when it eventually came, was carefully planned over a two-year interval. I remember very little of the planning as I was too young to really know what "stress" was or to care about who was "catering" and how much it "cost". The wedding went seamlessly, and we all travelled off to a famous tourist destination in the city, a Canadian historical landmark, for the reception. We were all having a fantastic time, one which I remember only as music, good food and dancing. My mom later told me the rest of this story.
My mom left the ballroom for some reason which was irrelevant. I imagine it to be something along the lines of needing fresh air, relieving emotions which were built after seeing her eldest son get married... or perhaps she needed a break from the crowd. Regardless of the reason, she found herself at the front door of the building, where entrance was usually public. Two people, a man and a woman she presumed were a couple, walked in the front door. They looked completely out of place, and my mom knew that they hadn't been invited to the wedding. Without thinking about it, she asked them to leave as it was a private gathering. They left immediately and my mom rejoined the festivities.
She later told me about the event late one night. "What if," she began with a troubled look on her face, "they had no other place to go? What if they hadn't eaten in days?" She sighed at this point, looking away from me. "I should have invited them inside at the very least, asked them if they needed a drink of water. Asked them why they were there."
A couple years later she was looking through the wedding photo album. Her eyes fell upon a picture of the wedding party greeting the guests (my younger brother and I were both in the wedding party, so both of my parents are present in these photos). Her smile faltered, slightly, and she looked at me and asked if she had ever told me the story of the couple who had wandered into my brother's wedding. I nodded, and she sighed again. "I still wish I had invited them in," she told me. "I feel so guilty."

Jesus told us that when we help someone, we help Him. As well, when we leave someone to suffer, we have left Him to suffer. He who gave his very life for us deserves better than to be cast aside... and He gave His life for others on Earth. If the very Son of God died for these people, who are we to deny them the help they need? At the very least, we can give them food when they are hungry, water when they are thirsty, shelter when they are homeless, clothing when they are naked, medicine and care when they are sick and ailing, a friend when they are lonely. There is the joke on the story of the good Samaritan, the one with the two psychologists who walk past an injured man on the side of the road and say to each other, "We must find the man who did this; he needs help." We laugh because of the ludicrousness of the situation: those psychiatrists would have helped the man, not left him in the ditch... right?
Wouldn't they?
...would you?
How many times have you seen the man standing on the side of the road with the sign "Homeless, need food or money" and driven right past him? I know I have, saying that someone else will help him. But if everyone has that attitude, who's going to help the man?
Why are we pleasantly surprised when someone stops and hands the man a cup of fresh coffee and some soup from Tim Hortons? Why isn't that common place?
What is happening to our world?

***
***

Now.
Today is All Saint's Day. Today is the day that Halloween refers to: Halloween used to be spelt Hallowe'en, which used to be Hallowed Eve. Holy Eve. The night before a holy day.
The night before All Saint's Day.
My church takes this day as one to honour all the recently deceased. The service is quite sobering, and today even my pastor was crying since he lost a brother-in-law this year. During his sermon, Pastor told a story which I would like to share in honour of this Hallowed day.
Martin Luther's daughter was sitting under a tree when she suddenly felt very weak and sick. Her parents brought her inside and put her in her bed, not knowing what was wrong with her. When instead of recovering she instead became even more ill, they called a doctor who was able to do nothing, as the medical knowledge was very limited in this time period. Magdalena faired worse and worse, and Martin Luther prayed to God that her suffering could be done, that Magdalena would get better. He knew God would answer... so he asked his daughter if she was ready to see her Father in Heaven. And in 1542, at the age of thirteen, Martin Luther's little girl died, sparking a period of depression in Luther's life. An interesting note, however, was that he told the people during his daughter's funeral that his pain was of the flesh. Magdalena no longer suffered, and for that he was pleased.
(By the way, Martin Luther is the founder of the branch of my religion)
Death is so difficult. We cry and grieve and scream "Why? Why them?" when really, we are really crying "Why not me?" We, as human beings, are selfish and don't ever want to feel pain. No, we think, we are far better than that. We shouldn't have to feel pain at all, we tell ourselves in a self-righteous tone. There is a beautiful song by Tim McGraw called Don't Take the Girl [that's a link, by the way], which I would like to quote the final verse of:

Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Five years down the road
There's going to be a little one and she says it's time to go.
Doctor says the baby's fine but you'll have to leave
'Cause his momma's fading fast and Johnny hit his knees and there he prayed:
"Take the very breath you gave me
Take the heart from my chest
I'll gladly take her place if you'll let me
Make this my last request
Take me out of this world
God, please don't take the girl"

I adore this song, but I always have one comment which I make quietly... isn't this a little selfish? Johnny deems that he can't live his life without his girl, so he prays to take her place... so that she can live without him?
This is how we humans seem to work. Bad things happen, they just shouldn't happen to us. But if we live our lives like this, we will never be able to accept life. When your loved one dies, don't ask why it happened... instead look at what good they had done in the world, and think that they are now in the best place one can be, with their heavenly Father.

~Godspede

Muses: Tangents Part 2

Seigneur, faites de moi un instrument de votre paix.
Là où il y a de la haine, que je mette l'amour.
Là où il y a l'offense, que je mette le pardon.
Là où il y a la discorde, que je mette l'union.
Là où il y a l'erreur, que je mette la vérité.
Là où il y a le doute, que je mette la foi.
Là où il y a le désespoir, que je mette l'espérance.
Là où il y a les ténèbres, que je mette votre lumière.
Là où il y a la tristesse, que je mette la joie.

Ô Maître, que je ne cherche pas tant à être consolé qu'à consoler,
à être compris qu'à comprendre,
à être aimé qu'à aimer,
car c'est en donnant qu'on reçoit,
c'est en s'oubliant qu'on trouve, c'est en pardonnant qu'on est pardonné,
c'est en mourant qu'on ressuscite à l'éternelle vie.

As a Canadian citizen who loves being able to speak French, I find that I often prefer the French version of documents. The above is the Prayer of Saint Frances, a beautiful piece of work which we are singing at my church. But, as most people reading this cannot speak or read French, I shall be kind and provide the translation.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Muses: Tangents Part 1

Today in English class, I learnt that my teacher is not a religious man whatsoever. He tried to say his off-topic point gently, but eventually just gave up and spat it out. He stated that the Bible is a book with many great stories. Stories. He said that it was filled with amazing metaphors and things that really tell you how to live your life, though they are so obviously fake. Simply stories to encourage people.
I was appalled. He delivered the statement in a way which sounded like he thought he was giving a compliment, but I felt deeply wounded. 'Stories?' I thought. 'You're telling an entire class your twisted belief that the number one most popular book in the world and the most common religion is all based on pretty stories?' I must say that I lost a lot of respect that I had for him. But, as he so commonly says, "oh well. Anyway!"
I was in my German class later, and somehow a boy in my class managed to bring up the topic of religion. He decided that it was more important than the subject that two of his friends were presenting, so he shouted out, "Hey, Frau, do you believe in a Divine Being?" This boy had stated many times before in other classes that he didn't believe in God, that it was all garbage. He had a smug look on his face as he pressed the teacher to answer, which she tried again and again to avoid answering lest she offend someone in the class. Eventually, the boy asked straight out, "Okay, Frau, yes or no: do you believe in God?" The teacher smiled and said, "Why yes. Yes I do." I smiled as well, my heart warming at her happiness and laughing at the boy's mildly shocked expression. Unconsciously, I reached up and touched my silver cross that I wear everyday, and I saw him look at it briefly.
I reflected later on at how happy I felt when my teacher admitted that she was a Christian. I'm so surrounded by atheism at my school that it has become normal, and I feel surprised to learn that someone is religious. It's a rare occurrence. What I had never noticed was how I didn't feel comfortable with that concept. Church and God and Christ Jesus makes me feel warm and fuzzy, exactly the way curling up under a blanket in front of the fireplace in the middle of winter at my camp does to me, and when people don't believe in it whatsoever, it feels cold, void of emotion. It seems to frighten me, somewhat, and I never hesitate to point out that I am Christian to somebody who thinks it is okay to mock God. I really feel bad for these people. How sad of an existence is it to believe that once you die, you're going to... disappear... become a tree... burn and die... become one with the earth...

I, personally, would like to believe that I am going to spend the rest of eternity with the one Person who always has and always will love me unconditionally.

side note: I was bored one day and asking my friend some "What if..." questions repeatedly, coming up with a new one every time she would answer the last. One that she had no answer to was...
ME: What would you do if I said I had found my one true love and I was going to love him forever and ever for the rest of my life?
HER: I don't know, I really don't. Be shocked, maybe?
ME: Would you ask who it was?
HER: Yeah, sure. Who is this dream guy?
ME: Jesus.
HER: ...
ME: What? He's never going to leave me. I'm going to stick with Him as my answer, 'kay?

~Godspede

a wretch like... me - Sermon 8

heeey check it out.
i think i just made a title linkage there, but em, i posted a sermon, shall we say on my blog and i tried to post it here as well but it was givin me grief.

so you'll just have to go with the linkage and hopefully it works! :)

Sermon 7

Love

Passage: 1 John 4:18-19
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.
Be patient, my soul: thou hast suffered worse than this. -Homer

It's always hard to find a Bible passage to write about. There are so many countless stories in there that I don't know what to pick, so often I just go to Google and type "Bible quotes". Today, however, I found one that has a particularly warm place in my heart. Sola Fide is a close friend of mine and the only one who has an extremely strong faith. She has a habit of accurately pointing out things that I never saw, and whenever I am upset she can quote Bible passages to me that make me feel a million times better. Today's passage is one of those, and very technically I have stolen what she told me for my sermon. Thanks, Sola Fide!

As well as I am doing regarding my bad spell, it's still a rough road. Every once in a while I have lapses where I feel like crying. I had sent an email to Sola Fide and she sensed that something was wrong. I explained my whole problem and she did her best to comfort me, including sending that passage and some of her words of wisdom, which I will take down here.
In relationships, we all too often hear things like, "I'm so worried about him liking me", "I'm scared he's going to dump me" or "I just want to look my best so he'll like me!" I had always thought that this was fine, nothing wrong with being concerned. But, as Sola Fide pointed out to me, there isn't any room in love for fear, which is what all three of those statements contain. True love is perfect, and if your love is perfect you wouldn't be scared all the time. So, perfect love gets rid of fear; it drives it out. We really don't need to freak about relationships. As big and important as our partner may seem to be, if they could really be effected badly by our appearance or if there really was a threat of being dumped, they evidently aren't a very good partner.
The passage continues to mention punishment. In the examples I gave, they all indicate a fear of something happening (him/her not liking them, being dumped, again not being liked). The 'something happening' is the punishment, which John states has to do with fear, ergo it has no place in love, either. This is greatly comforting, I find. Thoughts like those I mentioned aren't very nice, and they make you constantly stress and fret about everything. However, if you are truly in a perfect, true love, you won't have to stress. Love will never punish us; it's a reward in a sense.
Because punishment has to do with fear
and fear has no place in love.

AND He first loved us, before anyone ever did (even our parents! before we were even a twinkle in the eye...), which is why we can love.

~Godspede

Désolé, entschuldigung, sorry...

Sola Fide and I would like to offer our apologies. Summer, as we have found out, has a way of making your self-initiative go "phht"... in other words, we have been on hiatus (I love that word, by the way... it sounds so bizarre that it makes me giggle).

So, I'm back to school. It isn't so bad this year, and I'm enjoying my classes quite a bit as I haven't been assigned any 'mean' teachers. Well, at least that I've found so far. What I'm surprised about is that I have been at school for two days-- count 'em: One, Two-- and I've already had the chance to evangelize.
e⋅van⋅ge⋅lize [i-van-juh-lahyz]: to preach the gospel
Preaching is a mean word, though. People use it in an unattractive context, like somebody being "too preachy" or the know-it-all "preaching" to you. Here's the definition of preach, though:
preach [preech]:
–verb (used with object)
1. to proclaim or make known by sermon (the gospel, good tidings, etc.).
2. to deliver (a sermon).
3. to advocate or inculcate (religious or moral truth, right conduct, etc.) in speech or writing.
–verb (used without object)
4. to deliver a sermon.
5. to give earnest advice, as on religious or moral subjects or the like.
6. to do this in an obtrusive or tedious way.

Not so unattractive, huh? Yeah, so my opportunities were small, mostly me mentioning that I am religious... but I was truly blessed, and God gave me a person who wanted to listen. All I said to her was "Yeah, so-and-so goes to my church..." and BANG she was asking, 'You go to church? What church?' etcetera, etcetera. I talked to her for a bit, thinking she was Christian as well, then I actually asked her if she was. She answered no, not really. Kinda. At all.
I was shocked, then surprised. She had given up much time to my chipper-talking about my Lord and Saviour, my Best Friend and the one Person I know I can always trust, and it seemed as though she must also share a similar feeling. Most people that aren't religious could care less about God and His stories, but here she was, fuelling my adoration. It always feels good when that happens.

He really is so wonderful. Sometimes I sit back and think about everything that He's done, and I'm flabbergasted. It's extraordinary, really, and it makes me so unbelievably happy... I just want to cry. You know, those good tears that heal the soul and make you smile. I love Him more than I thought was possible, and the best part is that He loves me even more, far more than any mind can fathom.
~Godspede

Streams in the Wasteland

Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not
percieve it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
- Isaiah 43:18-19

... It's almost like Jesus is speaking to me when i read this.

It's almost like... i'm standing there, face to face with him and he's holding my face in his hands, looking into my eyes with his full of excitement; an expression of elated confusion as like a child who is thrilled about something, and cannot figure out why you don't understand.

"See" he says, " I am doing a new thing!" full of excitement, as like a travelor who has just figured out a new way on the map. He points out with his arm, his whole body tense with emotion.

" Now it springs up; do you not percieve it?" do i not percieve indeed. As though, how could you possibly not percieve it? and yet i cannot see.

" I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." as like an explorer in the 1500's or what have you, discovering the new lands.
Making a way in the wilderness, how do i not percieve it?
streams in the wasteland do i not see it?

Perhaps because i'm " dwelling on the past."
maybe i've not " forgotten the former things" ... so i cannot see the " new thing"

Much like Lot's wife. She was dwelling on the past, she looked back and was not able to see the new thing.
She turned into a pillar of salt.

Let me not turn into a pillar of salt.
Let me not dwell on things long gone rather let me percieve the new thing.

My LORD, the one i follow is making the way for me. As i follow him on this new wilderness, he takes pride in making a new way. A way in the wilderness, his being is lit up and elated as he leads the way, knowing that should i choose to trust in him, he will show me the way.

This is what he does, and he finds joy in the impossible. Joy in changin the way i think. As he leads me to streams in the wasteland, holding my right hand he helps me to percieve it.
This new thing
This beautiful new thing that he knows i can only fully apreciate, when i let go of the past.

On our journey he teaches me. patiently, he finds joy in his work. Helping me realize that i can only do this with him by my side. That i cannot do this by myself brings glory to his name.

Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, i am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not
percieve it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
- Isaiah 43:18-19

Love is like oxygen; love is a many splendoured thing; love.. lifts us up where we belong; all you need is love! (Christian, Moulin Rouge!)

Firstly, I'd like to apologize for missing this Sunday's sermon. I was camping, yet again, and forgot to pre-write one. Sorry...

Now, I am working on my book, and sometimes that involves reading stuff that you already wrote. I happened to stumble across a particularly pretty one, and it rang with the same quality of the stuff I write here, so I thought I'd put it down. I'll describe the scene then write down the quote.
So, the character's name is Lily. She is one of my favourite to write about, because she is rambunctious and energetic and always getting herself into sticky situations because of her clumsiness. But around the middle of the book, her whole family dies in a tragic fire. The only reason she wasn't killed was because she was visiting her friend, a slave at a nearby castle. While she is there, she finds out that he was whipped to death for impertinence to his master, and she realizes that she had fallen in love with him too late. Once she sees the ruined pile that is her home, she falls into a severe emotional breakdown and runs away. One of her closest friends, Nathan, comes looking for her and is really the only thing that keeps her from drying up and blowing away in the wind. This is all stretched out throughout the book, as I bounce between characters, and the following quote is when she is starting to get a grip again.

"My dad died," Nathan said. "Mom still considers herself to be married. She told me that as long as she still loves him and not someone else, she is still married. I don't know if she's fallen in love or anything. And apparently, I'm not going to find out."
Lily laughed lightly and Nathan looked pleased. He put his arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. She smiled. "Love is sometimes hard to define," she commented. He looked at her curiously. "Well, I mean, sometimes you say you love a person and you think you love them, so you stay with them all the time until one day, you look out the window and 'fall in love' again. With someone else. Or maybe you'd never even wanted to be in love, and if you were asked if you were, you'd say no. Then, one day, that person is taken away. All of a sudden you realize quite how much and how deep you had fallen." She bit her lip, pausing for a moment and glancing at Nathan quickly. "Then there's the kind of love that you always take for granted. The kind that isn't a passion or a binding, life-long thing. It's just a person who cares and takes care of you. That kind is all around, and we never realize that. And we never even thank them. But really, without those kinds of lovers, our lives would fall apart." She looked up at him, tears in her perfectly azure eyes. "That's why I thank you."

(this is the scene that I took the title from, the quote is right at the beginning)
~Godspede

My musings.

The Prayer of Serenity
Lord,
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as he did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
as supremely happy with Him
forever in the next,
Amen.

Dear God,
Please let me know when to take charge and when to let you take over, and let me feel happy about it;
Let me not worry about every little problem, 'cause we can't see the future the way you can... let us see, find and feel all the happiness;
Help us to understand that sometimes bad things happen so that good can spring from them;
Help us to live like Jesus, to not try to make more of the world than it is, and trust that everything is made better in Him if we let Him make it so;
Help us realize that this is the way we can make ourselves happiest in this world, and that we will be truly, completely happy when we are finally with You, Him and Your Spirit in eternity,
Amen.


The best things in life come when we aren't looking... they seem to sneak up behind us and jump out. We can search as long as we like and we won't find it until God wants us to. The best way to find peace in ourselves and the world is simply to let him take control. Of course, we can never do that; our sinful human nature won't allow that, but we can try, and He will help us. That seems to be the only way to rest at ease. Just release our earthly bounds and burdens, freeing our hands so we can grab onto His shirttails.

~Godspede

Muses: Winds

So, I posted the ... post... called Depths of Despair. If you haven't read it, stop right now and go to it. I gave the link with the title, so click it. Go. Now.

Okay, now that everyone is all caught up... I want to further catch you up. I've been at camp for a week, as I'd mentioned, and something beautiful happened there.

It's been unbearably windy here, and for the most part it was frustrating. We couldn't do most of those camp things like tubing, knee-boarding, skiing, boating, for the wind made the waves dangerous. However, it made it wonderful for sunbathing, as the wind cooled your skin before you became uncomfortable. My best friend and I were on the dock doing just that, having a beautifully in-depth conversation. Someone must have called us or something, because the next thing I really remember clearly is getting up and walking off. She ran ahead of me because that is the way she is, and I paused for some reason. All of a sudden, the wind just picked up. Ever so gently it tousled my hair, sending it curling around my neck and goosebumps down my spine. I took a deep breath in and looked up to the sky, which looked more like the heavens, and I felt this amazing sort of happiness which wrapped around my heart and made me want to just sing; a sort of 'inexplicable joy'.
My prayers... Thank you God, thank you for making me happy.

He truly works miracles. I feel joy that makes me cry. I am finally at peace with myself.
A note, though: I'm still fighting it. I just have to fight it less.

~Godspede

Sermon 6

I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. BELIEVE! (as if it works that way...)

Passage: Hebrews 11:1 KJV
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
faith (fāth): confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.

This feels a little weird, as I am writing it on a Monday for next Sunday. However, I am going to be at camp for the whole week, so I have to do it now and set it to post later.

This particular Bible passage was thought of because I have it written on a picture frame in my bedroom. I quote it often, using it as an argument against my older brother who seems to believe that stuff can only be true if it has incontrovertible facts. Another quote which often comes to mind after it is "Some things have to be believed to be seen." said by Ralph Hodgson.

All too often I have had to argue for ages with people about my faith. When I am relating the story to people afterwards, I usually roll my eyes and say "Why can't people just accept stuff the way they are?!" Sadly, the world does not work that way as much as we may close our eyes and hope for it. There is an amazing, mind-blowing amount of proof for the Bible but people refuse to see it. Like I mentioned. Belief is needed. An example of this was a science article I read recently. I can't remember where it was so I can't give any references, but it mentioned that scientists have recently discovered that a large, world-wide flood probably happened, and they are searching for proof and sources of this flood. My first reaction was NO FLIPPIN' DUH! (my friend's swear, it's good to use when you are angry). I can't even mention how long we have been pointing out the evidence and saying that Noah's flood happened, and now they are just 'discovering it'. Bah.

Now, I must caution that science is not my favourite subject. I spent countless periods arguing with my grade nine science teacher about the creation of the universe, yadda yadda, to no avail. He didn't want to think that what I was saying was true, so therefore it couldn't be true. It would be impossible.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if the whole world did that. I don't want to believe that I am going to die in a year, so I refuse treatment. I don't believe that poking my eye will hurt, so I will do it, since I am just that special.
What would people think?
Wow, that person is pretty stupid... that makes no sense whatsoever... you guys are all crazy.

My sentiments exactly.


Now, this has all the measurements of a rant (which, rightfully, it is), so I'm going to say my full thought:
If you want to believe something, okay. If you don't, then whatever. However, don't say you will listen and then say to yourself that it is impossible, because then it will always seem impossible. Just try to believe. Have a little faith.

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are...

(One of my favourite songs by Casting Crowns called Who Am I?)

~Godspede

Sermon 5

For Thou art with me

Passage: Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear. ~Ambrose Hollingworth Redmoon

Okay, so my blog hasn't experienced this yet, but everyone who knows me well knows that I am able to convey my feelings best at times through analogies and stories. So here goes.

My father is a busy, hard-working man. He is a contractor, and instead of hiring a team of workers, people hire him, a one-man team. He has permanent tans from being in the sun so much, and he is so strong that he can lift things easily that I can't even budge. He obviously didn't need to work out constantly, since his job was like going to the gym. However, his dietary habits were questionable. Since he never gained weight, he never thought anything of having fast food and junk food often. It never seemed to affect him.
The key word here, folks, is seemed.
God created an intricate system of the body. If any little thing doesn't work just so, nothing really works and it shuts down. Well, my dad was not doing good things to his heart. One night, my mom made him go to the hospital with her when she woke up and heard him wheezing in his sleep. We live in Canada, so although we have free health care, we also have very long waits in the emergency room. The most urgent cases go in first, but with an ordinary problem like a bad stomachache, you can expect a couple hours of waiting. My mom talked to the nurse at the desk an told her the problems and all the necessary information. My dad went in immediately. As it turns out, his heart was failing and he needed to have an open heart surgery to fix it or else he would die. My mom booked a flight to the city they would have to fly to, and then came home in the morning.
Of course, I was not informed of this as I was too young and would have freaked. I got ready for school in the morning. My mom was home and I was told that my dad had gone to camp at the crack of dawn, which wasn't unusual for him. My older brothers all knew (all four of them), but my younger brother and I were left in the dark. Later, my mom told me that dad was sick and needed to visit a specialist in that city. I wasn't told anymore than that, and as I said to my friend later that night, this was what scared me most of all. My mom tells me everything. It wasn't until I was at church one Sunday, singing at the front of the church in the choir, that I found out. My pastor gave an extra prayer for my mom and dad, that they be safe on their journey and that my dad fare well as he underwent such a potentially dangerous surgery... my breath caught in my throat, and my oldest brother, who was standing next to me, grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight, whispering, "It's okay, I'll tell you everything later."
My dad needed that surgery. His heart was incredibly weak, operating at something like 20% what it is supposed to. The day before he was scheduled to actually have to surgery, he went in for the preliminary check-up. And the doctor asked him why he was there.
My dad was confused. He repeated how his heart wasn't working, and the doctor shook his head, saying that his heart was slightly weak, 70%, but it was rising steadily. My dad was shocked beyond words, and my mom turned to the doctor, who now had out dad's medical records and was reading through them carefully. She asked how this could be possible, and what had happened to make his heart heal so fast. The doctor sighed, and asked mom one question.
"Do you believe in miracles?"
That was the only way any doctor to this day can explain what happened.

I don't think I need to explain the application of my story. But my mom had requested prayers from several churches, and my dad is still alive and still a contractor. Sometimes, all that is required is to ignore your fears and walk head-first into trouble, praying and depending on God to protect you.

"Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me."
Psalm 23:4

This story is completely, 100% true. I promise.

~Godspede

Carry Me Through

Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself will go before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

This verse. this lovely verse is what seems to be carrying me through. As you may have gathered by now, i am indeed shifting geographical locations.

I came across this verse about... a year to 2 years ago. I was reading a christian novel series, perhaps you have heard of the Chritsy Miller books. In one of the stories, this verse came up and i just loved it. I wrote it down.
i found it and hi-lighted it on my bible.
i typed it in big letters, printed it and stuck it on a wall.

It comes as no surprise then that i ended up memorizing this verse.

The way God works is amazing, at that time, i had no idea that i was going to move but yet that verse was just there with me.
now that the reality of moving is near, this verse is what helps carry me through.

The context of this verse is found during a time of change for the community of Israel. Moses, their leader for many decades is now 120 years old and unable to lead them any longer, besides which he cannot cross the Jordan river because of an earlier dihonouring of God when he struck the rock instead of speaking to it as God commanded him to ( Numbers 20:1-13).
As the Israelite community is getting ready to say goodbye to their trusted leader and hello to a new one, people were probably nervous about the future, it can be a scary place. God's children would have to cross the Jordan river and enter enemy land.

It is at this time that Moses comforts Joshua. That's the good thing about having a mentor, someone older perhaps, someone who's been there one who's done that. They can give you assurance and advice, and somehow, somehow as you look at them and what they've been through, you know it's possible.

Moses summons Joshua up in the prescence of all Israel and tells him to " be strong and courageous... The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged."

And i myself hold on to this promise, as i enter unfamiliar ground. I hold on to the constant and unmoving promise.

And i'm alright.

Goodbye, indeed

After reading a blog by Sola Fide, I am forced to come to face with a reality that I have been avoiding. Yes, she is moving away, to a whole new area that is extremely far away (In the US, like to another state; in Europe, like to another country; in Canada, like to another province) and I have been completely forgetting it so I don't have to deal with the sorrow. This, obviously, isn't helping my situation, so I have decided to say--urm, write something about it.

"The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore."
(Psalm 121:7-8)

In such a manner I pray for you on your journey, that you remember that we will remember you. I've never met a person who doesn't like you or who finds or irritating. As well, I have met plenty of people whose interest in God has been gently stirred by you.

So, this is why your moving has mixed feelings for me. Yes, of course, I will miss you unbearably. Not only will I be missing the only person I know who carries around a Bible at school, I won't have someone to tell my deepest secrets, give one of those delightfully squishy hugs, or tease about tests. I don't know how I'm going to manage, but I suppose I will have to find a way.
But also, I have the knowledge that in this far away place, a church, school and many, many lives are about to be touched by an Earth-bound angel. I can't possibly begrudge so many people of finding peace and God through such a kind and caring person. They are truly blessed to have you move away, and I see the Divine Plan in this.

I'll miss you, my friend. But I know that you will do great good.

~Godspede

Sermon 4

All That He Encompasses

Passage: Revelations 22:13 KJV
"I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last."
eve·ry·thing (ěv'rē-thĭng'): 1.a. All things or all of a group of things. b.All relevant matters. 2.The most important fact or consideration.

I apologize for the briefness of today's sermon. This is technically supposed to be for Sunday, as I am still living in an extension of it (a.k.a. I'm staying up late, past midnight), and is a little short since I am super tired. Camping does that to you.

So, I decided to look through Revelations in the best way it has ever been told (which, in my personal opinion, is the King James Version) and stumbled across this little tidbit. These words are used repeatedly in the Church and even outside of it, and I thought it might be nice to have them here.
The wording of "Alpha and Omega" is neat, since they are the first and last letters of the Greek alphabet. Basically, God/Son/Spirit (I am pretty sure that it was Jesus=the Son=the Lamb who said it, but I am no expert especially when I am tired) is saying that they are the A and Z. That always sounds funny to me, but helps me understand somehow. He continues to pretty much explain it and simplify it with the "beginning and the end" and "first and last". It's pretty cool.

Like my title says, the Trinity is all-encompassing. It exists and just is everything, for always. It's a mind-blowing thought, but the God never stops being. He always is there, and best of all? He always loves, always protects, always cradles us into His arms, and always welcomes us into His kingdom.

It's nice to love a God that always loves you.

~Godspede

Depths of Despair

For any of you culture fans, the title is indeed an expression that Anne Shirley in Anne of Green Gables would often use. I find myself borrowing them, as she thinks the way I do sometimes.

So, I have a rather serious note that I want to put down here. It just seems right.
I've mentioned before that I had an emotional breakdown. I obviously won't put down the details of what caused it here, as that would be unfair to all those involved, but I would like to talk about it.

See, I've found that I have depression, not clinical or anything, but it's there. Bad things affect me worse than they should. I can handle it, I've been this way for about three or four years, but then this whole bad thing came up...
I broke down. I barely ate, I slept tons, I missed school 'cause I'm claustrophobic and I couldn't handle the crowds. The worst thing, though, was that I used to feel so close to God that I could feel him smiling and I would feel him place His heavenly hands over my own and guide my way, and I would get this inexplicable joy at times that almost hurt but didn't quite yet. Well, that disappeared. I wasn't suicidal, but I questioned why I wasn't. I toyed with the idea of death. It really didn't seem too bad. I haven't been very scared of death for years. I'm still not.
Eventually what pulled me out of the rut I was digging was one of my friends whom I refer to as my "big brother" since he treats me that way, and I've actually never had the figure in my life, believe it or not (I have four older brothers but none of them were ever the big bro figure for various, harmless reasons). I was going through yet another low patch one day, and I asked him to give me one good reason why I should want to live. Without hesitating, he said Jesus. Then in the next beat he said my nephew's name, who is turning three this year and idolizes me.
And all of a sudden, I saw my boy asking, "Where's Aunty?" the way he does, and someone having to say to him that I wasnt going to be there, that I could never come back. And I saw him not understanding, and his mom, dad, my mom, everyone's pain at my death, and I thought, "Why would I do that? It solves nothing! All it would do is cause further turmoil!" And it helped pulled me out. I really owe my life to my big brother and my nephew, who would (and still does) climb into my arms randomly, hug me, give me a kiss and say he loves me, just 'cause he wanted to. B. Bro, if you're reading this, I can never thank you enough. I probably would have done something drastic had you not kept such a close watch on me. And my boy, one day I'll tell you this story, how three days after 'it' happened I was sitting in church, wanting to die, and you crawled into my lap and whispered, "What's wrong, Aunty?". And I wrapped my arms around you and actually felt happiness, and my mom saw it and knew that I had a chance, if only because of you.

But still, every once in a while I would wake up in the morning and just want to die, to fall back asleep and never wake up. Ever.
But yesterday, all of a sudden, it struck me:
I dont want to die.
I want to live.
I want to be close to God.
I want to feel His embrace around me.
I want to love life again.
And I fell to my knees and I sobbed, my arms wrapped tightly around me, right there in the middle of my room
and I prayed
and I cried out to God to save me from my pit, my depth of despair, to help me be happy. The tears poured down my face, onto my hands then to the floor. My whole body convulsed as I poured out all the hurt I'd been storing and festering in for the past months onto God.

I still feel sad thinking about that event. I still wonder that if maybe I'd done something differently it would have turned out okay after all. I still wish it didn't happen.
But I love God.
And He loves me.
And He is never going to stop. Ever.

You know, I think a big part of this event is how the biggest thing that helped me was the little acts of love. Big brother's patient care, my boy's gentle and innocent love, going to a Christian concert and having the singer see you in the crowd, realize you are hurting, and sing the words of "Lay All Your Hurt On Jesus" unwavering to you. Sometimes all one needs is a little hug, a little care, a little lift, and you might save their life.

~Godspede

GeneroCity

Hmm...

The concept of generosity is a relatively easy one to grasp, however the application is that which is found to be rather ... difficult perhaps.

I've always wanted to be a generous person. I mean, i think i am generous but i can be stingy, boy oh boy can i be STINGY.

This past Sunday - yesterday to be exact - my pastor talked about Generosity as part of his little spiel of sermons on things that you do that will literaly change your life. I loved that sermon. When i heard that he was talking about generosity i was like, yes. ouh yes.

Generosity.
what a concept. In the bible one can find countless examples of giving. i mean that one verse

Luke 6:38
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." *

but seriously folks. the concept of giving. It's so funny. North American society is all about get. accumulate. build up.

There is a secret in all this, a secret that few know about and even less put to good use

Proverbs 11:24-25
One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

The thing here, is that you cannot just CANNOT out give God. I mean seriously people. There's a great paradox here and it really is not that baffling when one considers it,

-- however much you give, you get much much more.
-- however much you bless, God will bless you much much more.
-- however much you give, you will not be lacking. The Lord will provide, he will bless you for your giving.

Did i mention God is not stingy?

2 Corinthians 9:6-8
Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. *

nuff said, quite frankly.

This is something i will try and strive in my walk with God, perhaps you'll do the same
- God Bless

*formatting all mine

Sermon 3

The Prodigal Son

Passages: Luke 15:11-32
"Jesus continued, 'There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, "Father, give me my share of the estate." So he divided his property between them.
Not long after that, the younger song got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
When he came to his senses, he said, "How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men." So he got up and went to his father.
But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
The son said to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son."
But the father said to his servants, "Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." So they began to celebrate.
Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. "Your brother has come," he replied, "and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound."
The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, "Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never even gave me a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!"
"My son," the father said, "you are always with me and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." ' "
jeal·ous (jěl'əs): Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position.

Today's Bible passage is one of Jesus' famous parables. As it, as all of the parables, is a lesson in itself, I won't say much but a brief explanation of the relation between the father and our Father.
In case you hadn't picked up on it, Jesus was using the story to directly correlate to us and what we so often do. This parable carries a very comforting vein. The son, as so many of us do, decided to leave his father and live a shameful life. His shame was in the prostitutes and squandering of money; ours is in the straying from God's will (which, perhaps, may be a life with prostitutes, or perhaps with drugs, gambling, crime...). The son eventually came to his senses when it all came crashing down on him, which it always seems to do. And, extraordinarily, the son never even considered pleading for his father's pity. He went back to ask to work for him, the lowest of lows. He bit back his pride, tore it out of the way, and told his father that he wasn't worthy of his father's love. The best part is his father's reaction, which was that he still loved his son. The Father never stops loving, see, and it pains Him to see us in distress.
Now, if any of this so far hasn't applied to you, don't think your off the hook. If you think you have lived a nearly perfect life, look again. Is jealousy your downfall? The other son was angry that he had never earned the attention of his father, completely overlooking the fact that his brother had come back to them and would now be part of the family.

There are countless morals in this story, so take the one that applies to you. And stop rolling your eyes. They might get stuck back there.

You can never be perfect. It's human nature to do wrongs. So chill out and try to fix your little errors. Everyone will appreciate it, trust me.
And I'm no exception, don't get me wrong. I'm anything but perfect. Which is why I read the Bible.

~Godspede

Eternity

"Jangee said...

why is infinite punishment (hell) subjected on finite beings?"

Ah, at last, a thought-provoking question.
One must recall, first of all, that the afterlife isn't just one choice of Hell. As with most everything else, there is a reward and a punishment. Yes, Hell is the punishment, but Heaven exists also.
Now, onto the more pressing question.
Humans were made in the beginning to live with God forever in the Garden of Eden. As we all know, we messed this up pretty badly, but still we lived a very long time. (Proof: "Altogether, Adam lived 930 years"-Genesis 5:5) It wasn't until after Noah that the ages began to shrink, from 950 years (Noah) to 205 (Noah's great-great-grandson, Terah). God still loves all of us as much as on the first week when he declared us "Good" and he wants us to be able to live with him forever in Paradise. However, some people welcome Satan (Lucifer, Hades; all names for the Devil) into their hearts and he seems to become part of them. God is extremely disappointed, but they chose to live with the Lucifer. And Hell is Lucifer's home. Therefore, God punishes by giving them what they wanted. We are going to spend an eternity somewhere. We get to choose which path we'll take.

Paradise, Heaven, and God in the Trinity?

or Damnation, Hell, and Satan's fire?


Only we can choose.


~Godspede

*sigh*

It's kinda saddening when no one even notices what you are doing. to anyone who might be reading this, i'd like to say one thing: POST A QUESTION, PLEASE! thats what im trying to be here for. I think i'm going to start, i dunno, promoting it or something.
And this is proof that im not always a perfect typer. However i do try to be when writing explanations and i am only writing the way i talk. so if you think its formal, i guess i talk formal. heh.

And as a little brief up-to-date-er, that girl that i mentioned that i try talking to? im somewhat of friends with her. she is annoying when she is trying to 'fit in'. however she is an intense musician who plays piano, harp, clarinet and trumpet, is a year younger than me, and enjoys classical music. its quite refreshing and i find myself enjoying her company, although she still annoys me at times. i feel so much better :D for once i really took my advice! (dont take that wrong, but you know how it goes: do as i say, not as i do. a lot of what i write doesnt apply to me)

~Godspede

Sermon 2

Vain? Who, me?

Passage: Ecclesiastes 1:2 "Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity." (KJV)
"'Meaningless! Meaningless!' says the Teacher. 'Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!'" (NIV)
van·i·ty (vān'ĭ-tē): lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness.

Today, I put two different translations of the same passage up there. The King James version, as usual, gives the traditional and well known tone, whereas the New International version gives it a more modern understanding.
I have always found Ecclesiastes to be a very somber, depressing chapter and so I never bothered to read the whole thing. Then, for some strange reason, I decided to read it one day. Throughout the first few chapters, thought to have been written by King Solomon, the phrase "vanity" is used repeatedly. Something to emphasize, though, is the definition given above. This "vanity" does not refer to thinking highly of one's self, but rather is referring to worthlessness, or in other words, meaninglessness (and yes, surprisingly that is a word). So, Solomon says that everything is meaningless, and he says it 33 times. Wow. Going through the little titles my particular version of the Bible has, I find these: "Everything is Meaningless"(1:1) "Wisdom is Meaningless"(1:12) "Pleasures are Meaningless"(2:1) "Wisdom and Folly are Meaningless"(2:12) "Toil is Meaningless"(2:17.... the passage below it begins with 'So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me') "Advancement is Meaningless"(4:13) and "Riches are Meaningless"(5:8). Jeez, I would always think upon seeing these, this sure makes life, well, meaningless.
But fear not!
Solomon wasn't saying that life was meaningless. Not. at. all.
The last two passages of this book say the following: "Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgement, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." (12:13-14) (fear, in this context, means: "to respect highly; to feel reverence toward God".)
There! Did you see that?
Solomon spends a whole bunch of time, saying how no matter what you do, it will do nothing for you in the end. In his own words, "what does man gain from all his labour at which he toils under the sun? Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever." (1:3-4) Then, just as you are feeling pretty down indeed, he says that God will take note of everything you do and remember it. And the "Bible overview" at the back of mine says this of Ecclesiastes: "This book reminds us that a life without God leads to meaninglessness and despair." Despair, indeed.

Stop and take a look at life around you. Do you spend day after day worshipping at the altar of money? Do you shun the charities even though you have money to spare? Do you delight in degrading other people for your own selfish gain?
What Solomon seems to be getting at is that as you go through life, you need to try and work for those things that would please God, who delights in joy, happiness, peace, and love. Look at the common idols such as Mother Teresa, who said,
"The poverty of the poor must be so hard for them. While looking for a home I walked and walked till my arms and legs ached. I thought how much they must ache in body and soul, looking for a home, food and health" when she first gave up her life at the Loreto Monastery for a poor life on the street, yet still kept at it;
and Martin Luther King, Jr., who said in his famous speech as the conclusion,
"From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:
Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
They devoted their life to making the world a better place for mankind and putting the world before themselves. Even if these two examples were not religious, they still would be doing God-pleasing activities, and the "love of God" or Holy Spirit would still be in them, whether they realize it or not.
Go ahead. Make a difference. Change the world. Laugh lots. Care more.




This is a picture that always comes to mind whenever I hear these words. It is called "All is Vanity" by C. Allen Gilbert. It is fairly thought-provoking, very famous, and titles itself straight from the Bible.



Think about it.



~God spede

Healing ... etc

Aulrite aulrite, lets talk healing here folks.

I love my Jesus, is it okay if i just say that out loud, perhaps yell off the top of a roof or something? - promise you won't get mad... but i really couldn't care less.

Mm, Friday i was feeling sick, i had to go home at lunch and i just kind of "vegitated" on the couch all day. People were trying to convince me to go to the hospital but i really didn't want to a) i hate the long wait and
b) i figured i'd pray and ask God to heal me.

The verse that came to mind was Isaiah 53:5;

" But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his [ stripes] we are healed." *

Let me just tell you this. Abba Father is the author and perfecter of our faith ( i think that's in the bible somewhere too :D) He is the one who created us and he knows us much better than we know ourselves ( psalm 139)

Since God is the perfecter our our faith, i knew that if i trusted in him to heal me, and he does, my faith will be even that much stronger.

so my logic was this, if God does know me better than myslef, - which he does - and if He did create me to be who i am - which he did - then who better to depend on for healing than him?!

And d'you know, it's so sad in this culture that we have flung God so far away from our everyday lives, we deem him only the God for sundays, the rest of the week is our own. Perhaps in this culture we consider ourselves to be superior and self-capable of everything. It is in our mindset that we do not need God.

Well i am here to tell you that two days later i am doing splendid. that nasty cold-cough-sneeze-sorethroat-almostfever thing is subsiding. and all because of Jesus' 39 stripes.

And the thing with God is that he's never stingy, NEVER STINGY!

I mean, he sent his one and only son to die for our sins. yes of course, that was the main plan, the main strategy. But our dear Lord looked down and saw how sad the human race was, so instead of Jesus just dying for our sins,

he dies for our healing,

for our peace

for our eternal fellowship with Abba Father,

joy

love

and if that wasn't enough, he sends the Holy Spirit to stay with us when he left.

Let me just tell you, Our God is not stingy.

* my bible actually says - by his wounds we are healed, but i like stripes much better, i've grown up with stripes.

Sermon 1

Ah, L'amour . . .

Passage: 1 John 4:13-21.
" ... God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever sees God must also love his brother." (16b-21)
Love (lŭv): To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person).

These are pretty powerful words. First of all, God is said to be love. Not loving, not lovely, but love itself. He and the definition of love are one in the same (note that John doesn't say they are interchangeable. No going to your mom and saying "I God you". She may be confused).
What John is saying is that if you want to love and feel true love, you need to live (believe, have faith) in God. Don't be opposed if you are already in deep love. He also says that if you love, you live in God. Got that?
God, in so many ways, is like a perfect parent. He has that sense of humour and protectiveness that your Dad does, except He doesn't force you to go out for sports, embarrass you in front of friends/colleagues, discourage your passions or crash the computer (again). He is as loving, caring and sweet-hearted as your Mom is, except He doesn't hug you so hard you can't breathe, chastise you about losing weight, hang her bras on the clothesline when you bring your fiancé(e) over, or cling to you desperately when you try to go to England. When you are heartbroken, He cries over your misfortune. When you are happy, he does a jig with Gabriel and whoops with joy. There is so much comfort to be found in this thought, and it helps me through my darkest moments. Martin Luther, founder of Lutheranism, described God as Omnipotent (all-powerful), omniscient (all-knowing), and omnipresent (always-present). Again, such comfort can be found in this. He always knows what you did wrong, so you don't have to hide it, but "God is love". He loves you anyway.
This is a point I stress to everyone, especially people who have never known God. It doesn't matter what you've done in life. You could have been a prostitute, drug-dealer, murderer, lawyer, it doesn't matter. He looks over your faults and into your heart, your soul, where the goodness, forgiveness and happiness of a small child always rests. Heaven's entrance isn't the Pearly Gates with Saint Peter looking at everything you've ever done wrong and deciding if you should be let in. It's Jesus, God, and all the people you've ever loved that have died, standing there with their arms open wide in happy reception. All you have to do is love and live in God.

In the next part of the reading, John goes on to say that you can't hate your brother and love God. Now, he's not saying that you have to adore every person around you. My definition of hate is that if something bad were to happen to the person you'd giggle with glee without a second of remorse. Please don't tell me you feel that way about someone, 'cause it isn't healthy. The dictionary's definition of hate is "to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest". This is pretty much the same thing. So don't have a total freak-out about John's words.
However, do look at your current relationships. Being in a constant, long standing fight with someone isn't healthy for anyone. Really think about the way you've been treating people and acting and thinking about them, and think if it is justified or necessary. There are people in my classes at school that drive me nuts, and I blocked them out. Until one day I was too tired to try that. Watching them after people shut them out, I saw the hurt register on their faces, and I recognized that they wanted to fit in. They still annoy the heck out of me at times now but I try to accept them and talk to them, and I find myself almost being friends with them. Almost. And I feel a whole lot better.
Assess how you've been living your life. Is it being wasted away on frivolous thoughts and silly emotions? Try living in love for a day, not getting angry at anyone if you can help it, and even talking to the most annoying person you know. Maybe you'll be surprised, maybe you won't. What you will be is a little more secure inside yourself, even if just for a day.

~God spede